Actions. Words. Wounds. And now, the relationship seems broken beyond repair. Restoration sounds like a hopeless dream barely worth having. If you are reading this, the first thing that you need to know is that there is hope for your relationship. Just because things may seem dark, just because everything may seem lost, does not
Actions. Words. Wounds. And now, the relationship seems broken beyond repair. Restoration sounds like a hopeless dream barely worth having.
If you are reading this, the first thing that you need to know is that there is hope for your relationship. Just because things may seem dark, just because everything may seem lost, does not mean your relationship is beyond saving.
Today, our friends at RP Emeryhave seven ways to help you begin to move your relationship away from brokenness and back to the place of love and harmony.
1 – Acknowledge the Hurt
Finding your way back to wholeness starts with acknowledging the hurt. You can never hope to find healing by burying what you felt or trying to forget the hurt and pain that you experienced. All these things are real, they happened. Pretending that they didn’t will only lead to more problems down the road.
Acknowledging the hurt and how you felt should be done without malice or bitterness. It is just allowing yourself to recognize the truth. Once you do, you will be much better equipped to deal with it.
2 – Learn to Listen
Communicating is going to be a huge part of healing your relationship. In this communication, it may be tempting to dominate the conversation to make sure that your viewpoint is heard and respected. However, this is an instance where we must learn to be patient and to listen first, talk later.
Active, attentive listening will increase your empathy and help you see things from a new perspective. Not only that, your spouse will feel heard and therefore will be more likely to listen when it is your time to talk.
3 – Watch Out for Patterns
Relationships can easily fall into negative patterns unless you are always on your guard, watching out for these relationship assassins. Does something that your spouse says set you on edge? Does an action that you take put them in a bad mood? Are there habits that always end in a fight?
If you can spot bad patterns like these, you will then be able to de-escalate the situation before it has a chance to cause any problems.
4 – Be Thankful for the Little Things
Whatever was the cause of your broken relationship, it can be hard to get over it. However, one of the best ways to get to the point where you can let it go is by replacing those negative thoughts with gratitude.
When you are at the start of this restoration process, it may seem hard to find things to be grateful for when the pain is still fresh in your mind. Start small, be thankful that your spouse is willing to make a go of it. Be grateful that you have made that choice as well.
5 – Be Patient. Very Patient.
Fixing a broken relationship takes time. Just like it took a lot of time for you to get to know your spouse in the first place, repairing a fractured relationship requires you to get to know each other again in a new and different way. Don’t rush this process or expect it to happen overnight.
Remember that the problems that caused the brokenness in the first place also won’t be gone overnight. Be patient with your partner and realize that they will need to be patient with you too.
6 – Give Forgiveness
There are few things as powerful as true forgiveness. Understanding that you don’t have to hold onto the hurt and pain can be the most freeing thing you will ever experience.
Always remember that forgiveness is not necessarily a feeling. You can forgive even if it is just a mental choice. It may be a difficult choice to make. However, you will quickly find that it is the right choice to make.
7 – Talk to a Professional
Hopefully, this whole “fixing a broken relationship” business is brand new to you. Talking to someone who has training and experience in this area can do wonders to help get your relationship back on track. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength, showing that you are serious about restoration.
If you are experiencing the pain and hurt that come from a broken relationship, know that there is hope for you and your spouse. Repairing that relationship is possible if you are both willing to commit to the work involved. It will take action; however, the results are worth it!